OMG!! Who will save men from these women?

It is a fact that men also suffer from domestic violence the same way women do. The only difference is that men dont come out in the open to say that they have been abused
The main focus of every one now is how to address the abuse of women by men, but no one is taking cognizance of the level of abuse men face in their homes.

Women themselves don't accept that they have been abusing men. They only believe that its only the men that can abuse them and NOT vice versa.

To be very candid, the extent of domestic violence that men encounter is their homes is on a sporadic rise and the worst thing about it is that Men prefer to suffer in silence. They can not discuss what their wives to do them for fear of being called a Weakling.

The women folks have been complaining against domestic violence against women. Celebrities, royalties, politically inclined women have been organizing campaigns against women victimization and domestic violence.

Olori Wuraola Zynab, Wife of the Ooni of Ife last week led some Nollywood stars like Ini Edo, Tonto Dike, Uche Jumbo, Funke Akindele, Kate Henshaw and a host of others in a walk as part of the launching of Her advocacy project called "1 in 3 Africa campaign" which is a call to end domestic violence and sexual abuse against women.

The settings in our society frowns at a man coming out openly to say that he was abused by his wife or girlfriend. As far as the women and the women groups are concerned, it is only the women that are abused in their homes. They dont care to know the extent of verbal and emotional abuse the men face.
They have no respect for their husband, they disobey them, they call them abusive names.

Now that everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the women?

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Research results have shown that 46% of men has faced domestic abuse during their lives. This includes Non physical abuse like insults, chronic disparaging remarks or controlling behaviour, threat, etc and physical abuse such as slapping, pushing, hitting, kicking both with hands and weapons and forced sex. Virtually all sociological research shows that about 90% of domestic violence are kick started by women and they are the first to use weapons for the most number of times while men suffer the most number of injuries.

Studies also indicates that men refuse to report the abuse to the public as the society will see them as Weak men. Many of the men that are abused feel ashamed to tell people what their wives does to them because the society expects the Men to be tough and in control.

Some of these men have the believe that the abuses will stop, but once it started, it will be very difficult to stop. It will become a leeway for the women to continue unabated as they believe that the society will always support them.

Most men are in Hell in their houses. They labour, toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shriveled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Some men die prematurely because of the depression they suffer in their marriages. Their children no longer have respect for them as their wives showers abuses on them and disobeys them before the kids.

The situation is worst if the man is not strong financially as the wife can even wash off the remaining respect, self esteem and zeal from the man by raining batches of verbal abuses on him.

The funny thing is that while they see a man who beats his wife as not man enough, the one who gets beaten by his wife is also seen as not being man enough.

Of a truth, the rate at which men are abused by their wives is on a very high side, but Most men prefer to suffer in silence.
The biggest fear most men have is being seen as being not men enough to put their wives under control. Their fellow men will make fun of them, call them derogatory names and look down on them while women in his neighbourhood will pick on him at any given opportunity.

Most men continue to fear what their parents and the larger society will say if they ever come out to say they have been abused by their wives. They think the parents and society will feel let down that they have not been able to stamp their authority in their homes as the man and thus, decide to keep shut and suffer these abuse in silence.

Just as with women who are domestic violence victims, denying that there is a problem only prolongs the abuse. Men who find themselves in such situations believe that they can help or change their abuser, but change can only happen once the abuser takes full responsibility for her behaviour and seeks professional treatment.

Yes, men also fall victims of domestic violence but they are not given the same kind of space or support women get to seek help without the risk of being ridiculed and stigmatized.

So who will rise up and kick start the march against domestic against the Men?

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